From Leah; A 1993 Poem. “Wondrous Love”

From Leah; A 1993 Poem. “Wondrous Love”
by J. Allen Wilson


In the course of cleaning out the hidden treasures of the past, I fumbled through a stack of medical records, and tucked between the sheets was this poem that my late wife Leah had written. It is a poem which I had never seen, but one that truly affirms to me where she now resides…in the presence of Jesus. It is not that I never doubted, for her faith was like none that I had ever seen. If we all could but have a fraction of the faith that she carried with her, then I am positive that we too shall see Jesus.

This is translated as best as I could as there was many a strike troughs’, as it was written on an old royal typewriter…this was before we got our first computer. Therefore I post this poem of hers titled “Wondrous Love” in memory of her wondrous love and faith. I do this in her memory; I do this to honor the sweetness of the past. I hope you all will find the peace in it as I did…God Bless you all…Allen



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From Leah; A 1993 Poem. “Wondrous Love”



Are you there, I asked in the dark of night,

With nothing visible, all held from my sight?

I thought it was a whisper, but ‘twas only the wind,

Gentle and fragrant as I asked again, are you with me?

Are you close by?

Still lay no sound but the oceans dark tide.



A teardrop trickled down my face,

as loneliness took me into its embrace.

‘Twas then that He spoke so sweetly to me,

And reminded me of the promises the He’d made to me.



“I’ll never leave you or forsake you my child,

For wherever you go, I’ll be there as a lamp unto your feet,

And a light unto your path, thus cast all your cares upon me…JUST ASK.”



A smile crossed my face as I then beheld the beauty of that moment,

The beauty of His wondrous love, it was that which I felt.

For now as I looked at the once dark and ominous sea.

Glorious shimmers of the full moons light,

now kissed the waves as they too rose in delight.



They also felt my Saviors’ presence as I knelt there humble before the King.

He my savior who had promised to share the treasures of heaven with me.

Oh to share with Him such an abundant life, upon this earth.

Oh such an awesome thought that He gave His all for me, so that I,

may forever one day be with Him throughout eternity.



Leah Cecile Wilson © 1993

It has been sometime since I have last posted any thoughts to this page. I am still seeking stories on how cancer has affected YOUR life. I know that it is not an easy thing to write about, and often we just try to forget. However, I would like to encourage any who may have heart for another to share their story. All proceeds after the cost of publication will be dedicated to Hospice. I am looking for stories that inspire. Each contributing author will receive a free book with their testimony in the preface if so desired. Also I will be sectioning off an “In Memory Chapter” where photos and brief dedications can be included. This for me is a labor in love; a love for all who have endured as I will be paying out of my own pocket to have this published and advertized . This is not about money, but rather a tool to perhaps bless others. I am looking for stories in the 1000 to 2000 word range in word format. So think about it…pray about it, and think of how YOUR words can be a solace to others who also, and will walk the very road that both you and I have travelled. All submissions can be sent via email to Jallenwilson@bellsouth.net .Upon receipt of the story, I will email you a release form to sign and return by post acknowledging your permission to publish your story. I have attached a video that I made shortly after my wife’s passing. I hope you will have time to view it.

In dedication and memory of my late wife Leah Cecile Wilson who fought against the ravages of pancreatic cancer and never once gave up on her faith in God, but proclaimed HIS name by witness to others right up to the last minute when she passed away in my arms and went home to be with Jesus.

With any loss comes an emotion that sometimes drives us to question God. I have done this on many occasions. I know that God is real, and I know that He died for us all so that we may all live life more abundantly. Yet He also gave each of us a calling…a gift, and we are to use that gift to edify Him. We all can do this in many ways. He wants us all to bless others, and to extend a helping hand. The project which I like to call it will require many hands reaching out to others. I need your story about how cancer has affected you. Whether you are going through cancer at this time, or if you have lost someone to cancer…I need your story so that I can put together a book to share with all generations. Therefore please consider making your contribution. This will not make you rich except in the eyes of the Lord as your words will become a living testimony for others. I will be accepting stories through April and hope to have it all in production by fall 2010. Each contributor will receive a free book with their bio and photograph if so desired. I will receive nothing as this will be my Gift unto others as all proceeds will go to Hospice in order to allow them to give the best care as possible. Please…if you would like to help, then send to me in word format a minimum of 750 words and a maximum of 1500 words to Jallenwilson@bellsouth.net I know it will be hard to do this for many as is evidenced by my plaintiff cry in the poem below…but we all must remember…this is not about us…but how we can help others…HELP ME HELP OTHERS by submitting…God Bless you all.

Allen



I am Too Stupid, But Too Smart

I’m Too Stupid, but I’m Too Smart
I fell before the sun in my own wisdom,
I chased yesterday’s dreams,
Yet I fell short, yet I come apart at the seams,

I thought I knew what the morrow may bring,
I clung to hope, I sought for the heavens,
I hope to hear for angels to sing,

But yet I drown myself in sorrows,
I hide myself behind walls,
Because I fail to feel,
But I want to feel again,
But I’m afraid, because again, it becomes too real

I’m too stupid, but I’m too smart,
To feel the way I feel in my heart,
I search for rainbows, but I draw back empty air.
I search for tomorrows, and I find even in myself I don’t care,

I hope and dream and I want to be real,
I want to love again, I want to feel,
I want to see the sun; I want to see the stars,
I want to feel the moon and the love
that will forever and ever rest in my heart,

But I cloud my mind, with so many things,
I’m disrupted in the night by awful dreams,
I remember the children with burnt out eyes,
And mothers that lay in their lamenting cries,

Oh Jesus, Oh Jesus, what can I do?
Because you know God, you know God,
in my heart that I only want to serve You,

You have blessed me with so many gifts,
You’ve blessed me with such a wonderful life,
Yet you have put me through such a journey,
You have shown me such strife.

I’m too stupid, but yet too smart
To realize all these things,
But Lord, Oh Lord God,
I’ve got to realize that you are the King of Kings,

I’ve held out my hand, and I have prayed, and on my face I have laid,
And yet I have wondered if you have even heard my cry
And often, yet so often in my sleep often I have felt that I have died,

But I awake each morning, with a new day on my face,
And I wonder still why you show me your grace,

I drift, I drift and I sleep,
And often, many times, unbeknownst to others, I weep
Oh Jesus, before you I cry, Help me make it through this day,
And deliver me before I die.

J. Allen Wilson © 1/5/2010